It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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