Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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