you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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