that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
