I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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