I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
