I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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