we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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