Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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