i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
