Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you win again, gameday.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
