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there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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