There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
