But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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