I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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