I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
