I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
