I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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