Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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