we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
