Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
