Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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