week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
