He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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