We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
