drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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