Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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