I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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