I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
