Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
