i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
