member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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