I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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