Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
