This girl is more easily done than said...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
