we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
