In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How's work?
Spinning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
