did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
