There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
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All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
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Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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