We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
