I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
