so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
