wat bout pragnant strippers??
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
