i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this beer tastes like vomit already
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
