Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think i got beer on your cat.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
