Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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