What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
