Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
