Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
