i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
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Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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