Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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