If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
