Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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